Confessions of a Sinner

As a Catholic, I can appreciate the benefits of Confession. At the very minimum, a person feels a whole lot lighter walking out of the confession room or booth, or what have you. Physically, it feels like a weight has been lifted. At best, you recognize your soul is healing, and you are on the right path. For those whom are not Catholics, Confession has nothing (not a thing!) to do with the priest. The priest is just there, merely standing in. God’s wing man, if you will. A stand-in. However, God is there, too. God is the only one who can forgive. And not the type of forgiveness that humans should show one another when we fail each other from time to time, but similar to the forgiveness that a bank can do to a debt you owe. Confession is as if you take all of the “junk” that holds you down, the bad stuff you did years ago, the mess you are in now, the sins that tempt you, the people you waste hate and anger on…and he says, “Child, you are Mine. Never forget My Son washed those things away, now go in peace and focus on eternity with Me.” Phew. It feels good.

We don’t just need to confess to God to forgive our sins, though. We need to confess to one another, not just to show our weakness and humility but to show others that we are all the same. Further, it bonds us together.

I struggle with many sins but one is vanity. Last year I turned thirty, and I went to a popular dermatologist to get fillers done in my face. I did the research, talked to the Doctor, he recommended a semi-permanent filler and said there would be NO issues, and on the off-chance something happens he could fix it. Well, there were issues. Go figure. I went in to correct a problem, and came out with a larger one. The filler left permanent, cement lumps under my eyes. This put me into a dark hole for several months. I was deeply depressed and finding it difficult to find the motivation to get out of bed on my worst days. I made a couple videos to explain what happened, so I can prevent someone from making the same mistake I did. The only way I can fix this problem is to surgically remove the lumps from my eyes, so in a couple weeks I am getting this surgery done. I would appreciate if you pray for me. I pray that God blesses the hands of the surgeon, and that I can just go back to being me again.

However, looking back, as dark as those times were I can appreciate them. When Spring comes after a long, cold winter, one tends to appreciate the warmth of the sun’s rays and the beauty of the tulip blossoms and songs of the birds. When one comes out of a deep, dark hole, and sees the light, the light seems a little brighter. You tend to appreciate the Light more. Perhaps I made a stupid choice and am paying the consequences. Perhaps this is what God intended to happen. Maybe it’s something else. All I know is I can take my bad experiences, and help others get through theirs. And I will continue to do so. So feel free to laugh, cry, and chat with me on here, or email me at SarahLayton03@yahoo.com, or don’t reply at all! 🙂 Please note: I have dealt with depression and anxiety before this, so it is not surprising that such a life change would have this affect on me. I am no stranger to stress, depression, or anxiety. Check my page links at the top for links to a depression forum I found helpful last year, as well as my Who am I? page. 🙂 Keep fightin’ the good fight.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDG4VzAqpDDQo4YVXjSBOYw

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